I recall being part of a celebration with my coworkers and members of a client project team. “So you’re extremely quiet, huh?” someone asked out of nowhere. I only smiled, but the rest of the time I was holding back tears. Since A child working in the realm of technology, people have been pointing this out to me, but I’ve never known how to “correct” it. Why should I force myself to say something if I have nothing to say? I reasoned. I was told to just speak up more, so I felt compelled to do so, but I recognised that wasn’t true to who I am over time.
What I did to establish a successful career as a shy person:
I was apprehensive about seeking feedback since I knew it would be suggested that I express my ideas more often. The seminars on how to successfully receive feedback, on the other hand, were what really helped me progress. My main takeaways were as follows:
Inquire about specific examples of how a situation may be improved.
If a piece of input isn’t urgent, you don’t have to act on it right away.
Keep it simple: strive to link the input you get to your immediate objectives.
When my tech leads and teammates focused on my strengths, I felt more empowered. Rather of remarking on how quiet I am, they said they valued my patience and listening abilities. These characteristics indicate that I am a good task finisher and a quick learner. I began to recognise the benefit of being an active listener as a result of their comments, and how I might apply my strengths to projects and meetings that I am part in.
2. Recognizing my value as a good listener
I noticed early on in my work that I struggled to participate during meetings. I had always blamed it on a lack of creativity or talents. A buddy once reminded me that I didn’t always need to know the answers, and that clarifying things may be just as useful. With this in mind, I kept track of my thoughts and what others had to say by writing them down. This allowed me to think about what was going on. I would ask queries if something was perplexing to me. This allowed me to clear up some misunderstandings that others could have as well.
During an estimation session, the business analyst couldn’t figure out why the complexity was so high, and everyone got into a protracted debate. After gathering everyone’s comments, I emphasised that finishing the storey would require more effort owing to the way the prior feature was developed. This overview made it easier for everyone to agree on the estimate.
Having used this approach many times, my teammates and the client mentioned to me that having a person like me in the team gave them a chance to pause and reflect on their statements. Therefore, as long as I was not holding back information, it was better to stay silent.
3.Making my team aware of how they can help
In my experience, excellent facilitators created a safe space for the attendees to contribute. There may be people who already have great ideas to put on the table. For some, they could only think of something after they have reflected on the things that occurred during the meeting.
One of the methods that worked really well was when the facilitator did the following:
1-Send a meeting agenda and share a clear goal beforehand
2-Allow time for everyone to jot down their thoughts and post them somewhere where everyone can see them.
3-Request that each participant explain their thoughts.
4-To prioritise the subjects, get people to vote on them.
5-If there isn’t enough time, set up a follow-up meeting to discuss other key concerns.
As a result, I feel more people’s opinions have been heard. This gave me time to think before I was put on the spot.
4. Expanding my comfort zone
I appreciate assisting people in their pursuit of excellence. Because I was frequently placed in teams where front-end development skills was required, I saw several prospects for this. This encouraged me to think of new methods to up-skill and learn from my teammates. As a result, I was able to practise putting my thoughts into words on a regular basis and gain more confidence in myself.
After hearing from others with whom I was partnered that I was good at explaining things, I became inspired to give some presentations, lead seminars, and facilitate meetings.
5. Self-compassion
I have a tendency to berate myself for my flaws. However, I’ve learned to be more mindful of my actions and to let go of my thoughts. As a result, I was able to concentrate more on my work.
For anyone in the same situation, my advice is to take small steps and celebrate the moments that enabled you to move forward.
The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some, it’s a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamplit desk. Use your natural powers – of persistence, concentration, and insight – to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems, make art, think deeply.” ― Susan Cain, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.
